Sunday, August 23, 2009

Top 5 irrational fears about starting back to college

Classes start today, 11 am. No turning back now, right? Tons and tons of thoughts are flying in and out of my mind this weekend, and every so often is the thought "OMG I AM COMPLETELY CHANGING THE DIRECTION OF MY LIFE; AM I A TOTAL NUTCASE?"

So, with that in mind, here comes the list....in no particular order of irrationality or fear-ishness. (not a word, I know, LOL)

1. I will show up at the first class today with no shoes on. (I'll pause a moment while you collapse on the floor with laughter at my expense) I did not make this up just for your entertainment, I promise. I have this sort of dream before every big/new/stressful life event. I dreamt it in the days before my wedding, before starting College Adventure #1, before my first year of teaching, etc. And the terror associated with this dream is real, no doubt. Imagine it: You arrive for a momentous occasion, first impressions really matter, you're sitting in your desk and all of a sudden OMG I do not have shoes on!!!!!! How did I even get here like this? And even more bizarre.......what does a dream like this symbolize? Any dream interpreters out there?

2. I will be the oldest one in the room(s), professor included. Why in the flipping world that even matters to me is not clear, but it does. I already know that my primary supervising professor is a year younger, and she's got her doctorate in MT already. I got mine in preeclampsia, with a concentration in the autism spectrum and special-needs parenting. No fancy degree certificate on the wall though.....just scotch tape residue, the remains of Mr. L's endless lists that he simply MUST display all over the house.

3. You know that scene in Finding Nemo when the fish are trying to join the "East Australian Current" along with those sea turtles, but it's going SO fast and they just can't get in? Yep, what they said. When I think of all the things that have changed since the pre-internet days of my last time in college, I feel nauseous. Do people even take notes on actual paper any more? Do I need my laptop in class?

4. What the hell do I wear? Yes, this is of great importance. Gotta not look any of the following: too old, too fat, too dorky, too teacher-ish, too much like I'm trying to look young, too out of style, too dressy, too casual.......you get the idea. {sigh} I need a fashion consultant. Any volunteers?

5. There will be too much workload, too much writing/term papers, and I'll end up being MORE busy and more time away from my kids than I had before. I've already had to resign myself to sending them to the after-school care program 4 days per week this semester, based on my class schedule and how late the classes end. Yuck. I was looking forward to picking them up in the cute little carpool loop behind the school. Oh, and nearly $100/week for the afterschool program too........lovely.

Ok, I could go on listing forever, but I limited myself to 5 so that I can manage to not be late for the actual classes on the first day! Gotta go shower, put on the painstakingly chosen clothes, pack the bag with my supplies one more time, and drive headlong into this new phase of my life. Are any of you old enough to remember those old commercials for Nestea.......the Nestea plunge? LMAO at the thought of it, but that's pretty much what I'm doing today. Eyes closed, let go, fall backwards into a swimming pool and trust that it will be ok. I'll come out soaking wet, but hey, it's 90 degrees outside so who cares, right? ;)

4 comments:

Lori said...

Can't wait to hear how it went!! I've thought about you on and off all day! So what did you wear??????

Lowcountry Mom said...

A white knit top (one of those 'baby doll' types), jeans, skechers, a chunky necklace. How's that sound? Seemed to blend in ok with the assortment of clothes I saw around campus. :)

Lyndsey said...

Aside from the shoe thing, we have the same fears. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Lowcountry Mom! I lost your e-mail address. Could you please e-mail me?