the post-election wrap up

Well, I said something about this in my last post about the blog award, but just felt like it wasn't enough. No words, truthfully, would be enough to really do justice to how it feels to have won this election.

Does that sound weird? Are you thinking "does she really think SHE won it?" Well, as a matter of fact, I do. But not just me. All of us, all Americans. I am fully aware that several million people disagree with me right now, and might never be convinced, but that's ok because the freedom to dissent is part of what the Founders wanted and part of what makes America great.

Nevertheless, I'm convinced and I know in my heart that our country was the true winner on Tuesday. With Barack Obama as our next President, I feel hopeful about the country's future again. We can regain our standing and respect in the world, and begin to bring the troops home from Iraq, finally. We can show respect and consideration for the rights of all, not just a few. I will be able to watch video of our President in public appearances without cringing in embarrassment; thank God for someone who can complete a coherent sentence and will speak respectfully, intelligently, and without the ever-present smirk and condescension.

Diversity will not be a bad word, or just a catchword, but a reality! And yet, having said that.....I believe that my family and I have infinitely more in common with the Obamas than with the Bushes, despite the differences in skin color. Maybe we can actually not just embrace diversity, but some kind of "post-diversity", because the more we learn about so-called "diverse" people, the more we often find that we are alike, not different.

So, let's send Mrs. Palin back where she came from, and hope she won't be heard from again anytime soon. She needs some time to find a publication or two she wants to read, after all. As for John McCain...I just shake my head at the thought of what could have been. I admired you, even thought I could support you as a candidate, once upon a time in 2000. But you sold your soul, sacrificed your own standards of acceptable campaign behavior, all for the chance to be President. And where did it get you? Nowhere except back to the Senate. Don't you feel dirty now, after the tactics you used and allowed your people to use? What a shame....you used to stand for something, and now you stand for nothing but yourself.

But let's end on a high note, shall we? The moment, at 11 pm EST on Tuesday night, when the networks called it and proclaimed that Barack Obama would in fact be the next President.....I get chills thinking of it. It was like a comforting wave washing over me as I heard the words, and I just sat mesmerized in front of the TV, drinking it all in. After the seemingly endless nightmare of the last 8 years, it's still hard to believe it's about to end. Congratulations, Mr. President-elect. A music teacher and her family from South Carolina are immensely proud of you, and are beaming inside with a bright blue light in the crowded sea of red around us. Thank you for all you have done, and for what you will do, and may God protect you, your family, and our country.

What a day!

Wow, I've been MIA around this blog for a while, haven't I? Sorry, blog-readers. I guess my excuse is just end-of-school busy stuff compounded by potential-new-job stress.

But now I'm back, ready to blog and listening to the amazing, historically significant and truly monumental news that Barack Obama has reached that magic number of delegates and will be the Democratic nominee for President. 40 years ago this Thursday was the date that Robert Kennedy was killed, and the country was horribly segregated and divided. No one in that summer of '68 would have ever believed we'd be here today, nominating a biracial man with a name like Barack Obama for President. But here we are, and I'll echo Michelle O. by saying that I'm truly proud of my country. The campaign ahead will be tough, no question, but I believe that he's up to it. And it's too important that we get a Democrat in the White House this time........so much depends on that, we've just got to make it happen.

(oops, did it sound like I was making a campaign speech, LOL? Sorry!)

The other item that makes today a monumental day, at least in my life and the life of my family, is that I interviewed for a new job this morning. I've only taught at 2 schools in my career--the first for 8 years, the second for 5. And now, maybe, the leap into another job, quite different from any of the other 2. It would be going from part time to full time, and that scares me. As I look back, I can admit that there was a time in 2005 when I honestly came close to having a nervous breakdown.....the stress, worries and fear that came from dealing with 2 former preemies, both with some degree of special needs, just piled on me so strongly that I almost couldn't handle it anymore.

Ever since then, I've been very protective of my time.........to do nothing if I want to, to be online, to play a computer game or take a bath at night, etc. I feel like my sanity depends on it. And there's a deep seated fear in me, of going back to "that place" where I felt so sad, so overwhelmed, so out of control and helpless. Becoming a full time teacher again does scare me, and I do worry that I'm taking on too much.....or is it giving up too much? But you know what? I don't even have the job yet, so I guess I'd better quit borrowing trouble.

Update at 11......or rather, this weekend when the principal swears she'll call to tell me the verdict, one way or the other. Not sure whether to say "wish me luck" or not, truthfully. So let's just pray, shall we? Pray that if this is the right job for me and for our family at this point in time, I'll get it and be successful in it. And if not, I won't, and I'll be ok with that. Sounds simple enough..........

This just makes me so sad

Readers of this blog (love ya!) know that I'm a political junkie, and seem to be raising my kids to be the same (much to DHs surprise!). And I've posted at length about my crush on Barack Obama (LOL!)......seriously, the fact that I am an Obama supporter and have been following the political campaigns incessantly. I have had so much hope, but I feel it draining out on a daily basis.

This morning, I'm at an all-time low where this topic is concerned. I've been proud to be able to speak up for Obama, wear my campaign shirt, argue in a passionate and informed way when I encounter opposition, etc. But the downward slide started when this stupid crap started up about his former pastor a few weeks ago. Soundbite after soundbite flooded the airwaves, and I'd be lying if I said they weren't shocking and distressing, even to me. On Sirius radio one evening, I managed to find a talk show playing the FULL recording of one of those sermons from which the horrid soundbites came. The sermon lasted more than 30 minutes, and was so very enlightening. When you hear those quotes in context, they are not nearly as inflammatory as they were when heard alone. Still bad, mind you, but hearing those statements at the end of 30 minutes of historical context makes them sound quite different. If you want to hear it for yourself, I found it here .

Anyway, there was a big uproar for a week or so about why Obama stayed in this church, did he endorse the inflammatory statements, etc.........and then it started to blow over, thankfully. It was painful to watch, and I began to feel less and less confident in speaking up in support of him. It is hard to rationalize why he stayed there, how he could not have known these things were said, etc.

Well, over the weekend the illustrious Rev. Wright popped up again, and now he's freakin everywhere! Speech after speech, appearance after appearance, trying to clear his name and clarify things, but what I want him to do is just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! This is not about you! Do you have any desire whatsoever to see Obama elected? Then get the %#@* out of the way and keep your mouth closed, at least until December or so. But no, he has to keep on talking, keep on digging that hole deeper and deeper, and pushing our goal a bit further away every time.

I hung all of my hopes on this, and it's just so disappointing to see it collapsing before our eyes. I want so much to believe the rhetoric about "a different kind of politics" and the efforts for change that he's promoting, but it will all be for naught if he can't get elected. And if this polarizing ancillary "stuff" keeps pulling him down, that's exactly what's going to happen. Maybe things aren't as bad as I see them, but it literally hurts my heart to listen to my regular morning TV talking heads, and the political radio stuff that I usually follow. It seems to be all negative, and none of it has to do with what he actually wants to do for the country.

After all, it's so much more important to parse every freakin statement out of someone's mouth (someone who is NOT the candidate, btw) rather than focus on 4000 dead in Iraq, $4 gas, and my 401K plan in the toilet. Yep, it's good to have priorities.

Political junkies, ages 4 and 6

OMG, I think I've created 2 mini-political junkies! Guess they're taking after Mom.......

A is a Hillary fan, much to my chagrin. Not sure why he likes her, maybe just because he wants to be different from me? Anyway, he's been a diehard fan throughout the primaries, but E has been on "my side" with Obama. I've posted before; he calls him Rock Obama and proudly wears his Obama '08 shirt to school, etc.

Well, this morning we had an incident that just goes to show how truly invested in these candidates they are........... DH and I love to watch Morning Joe on MSNBC while getting ready for school. Can't let the kids watch Noggin or anything b/c they'd never actually put clothes on and wouldn't be ready on time without a struggle. So, DH tells me this morning that we need to make sure A is watching the show b/c they've announced they'll have Hillary on in a few minutes. The boys are eating breakfast in the living room and watching it, and we're in our room brushing teeth, etc. DH steps out to check on them, and comes back in holding E, who is crying almost hysterically.

He hands E to me, and I try to get him to tell me what got him so upset. He manages to say: "A said that Rock Obama is going to drop out" and then collapses in tears again. I immediately went into consoling Mommy mode, hugging and rocking him, saying "it's going to be ok honey, A is wrong, I promise Rock Obama is NOT going to drop out" etc. It took him quite a few minutes to calm down, and finally we had to pull up an Obama speech on the computer for him to watch, and that did the trick. But he was still clingy and semi-sad the rest of the morning.

Oh, and when I asked A if he knew why E was so upset and if he'd meant to do that.....he said yes (sheepishly, but with a little smirk on his face). He knew it wasn't true, and knew it would upset E, but that's what he was trying to do! (can you say "typical big-brother" stuff?) I reminded him about how sad he would feel if it were the other way around, and that seemed to straighten him out.

But I tell ya, it's going to be rough when the day comes that one of the candidates (ahem, HC!) has to actually drop out in favor of the other. One of my sons is going to be devastated, I can see it now. We've gotta start planning for what kind of special treat or activity we can do for that child, to help cheer him up, b/c it's going to be ugly, I'm afraid. Hope I haven't done a disservice by getting them so interested in all this, knowing that one of them will most certainly be disappointed in the end. :(

more political ramblings

OMG, what a night it was! I did my usual nighttime stuff, after the kids are in bed......wash/dry/fold clothes, work on the computer, and listen to political coverage on TV. When I went to sleep (around 11) I had NO idea I'd wake up to find that Hillary Clinton had won both Texas AND Ohio! Ohio was looking bad (for Obama) as I turned the TV off, but not Texas. WTF?

So, now the question is: Was this result a good or a bad thing for the Democratic Party, going into November? Guess it depends on who you ask. Most of the so-called experts on TV and talk radio have basically proven that NO ONE really knows what's going to happen, no one can predict anything with certainty, and that the tried-and-true expectations just don't hold water any more. Everything is new this time, when we're dealing with the first viable woman candidate and the first viable black candidate.

Bottom line for me: I want to see a Democrat elected, period. Not John McCain, who says we could be in Iraq for 100 years or more. So I'm trying to keep my eyes on the prize, so to speak. And if that means we've got to choose Hillary, I guess that's what we'll do, but I won't be thrilled about it. But, how electable is either Hillary or Obama going to be after weeks and weeks and weeks more of primary time? In which they both get to beat each other up and spend tons of money trying to make the other look bad......and then in the end, try to come out smelling like a rose to go forward into the general election. Not gonna happen, I fear. And meanwhile, McCain gets to revel in his un-opposed status, while raising tons of money and going ahead with general election strategies against both of the Democrats. Ugh!

Stay tuned for Pennsylvania, I suppose. In APRIL! Guess I've just got to console myself with knowing that I've done what I could, voted when my state had its turn, and now I just get to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Ramblings of a political junkie

This is something that not everyone knows about me---I'm a political and American History junkie. It's true, I always have been. I guess it came from my Mom.....she became interested in politics, elections, etc way back when she was a teenager and JFK ran for President. That side of my family is Irish Catholic, so you can imagine the excitement when he was elected, etc.

I barely remember my parents taking us to see Jimmy Carter in a campaign event when he ran in 1976.....I was in Kindergarten but they took me out of school for the day to go to Columbia to see him, for the educational value of it, etc. I was 5 and my sister was 2. Ever since then, we've watched the party conventions on TV every 4 years, paid attention to who's running, etc.

All of my political-watching life, however, I've wished I could get as excited about a candidate as Mom was back then about JFK. She collected stuff about him, and still has it. She's got a box full of scrapbooks made of newspaper clippings, campaign memorabilia like posters, buttons, hats, etc. She tells the story of how inspiring he was for the whole country, and when you listen to his speeches on those old black and white films, you can see it for yourself. They had such hopes for what he could do for America........but then it ended when my then-2-year-old Uncle had to pass out tissues to the family as they cried in front of the TV on that day in November 1963.

So I've always looked for a similar kind of candidate to be excited about, inspired by. We've always been Democrats, and there haven't been many Democrat Presidents in my lifetime. Most times, the candidate has been someone that you just "accept" because he's better than the alternative, but not someone you love because you truly think they are right for the job, etc.

Well, I'm afraid to jinx it, but I do think we might have such a candidate this time, in Barack Obama. I was a John Edwards supporter in 2004, and think if he had been the nominee, things might have turned out entirely different in that election. But I digress..........this time, I was glad to see Edwards trying again but he never seemed to get any "traction" as the campaign went along. I don't like Hillary, don't think she's the right nominee because of how polarizing she seems to be, and how much Republicans hate her and would do anything to see her defeated. But then there's Obama.

I like him. He's smart, articulate, well-rounded with a varied heritage and varied world experience. He's young.....only 10 years older than I am, and his kids are the same age as mine! I love the idea of someone "our age" being President, representing a whole new generation of Americans. (wasn't that Kennedy's line....."the torch has been passed, to a new generation....") In his experiences both in and out of the world of elected office, he seems to have a talent for bringing people together--across racial lines, economic lines, etc. And boy do we need that in this country. I'm so tired of the Red and Blue stuff, I could scream!

So last night, I got home from a rehearsal and turned on MSNBC tv. I hear the tail end of a statement by Keith Olbermann (LOVE him!), something about "allegations of a romantic relationship with a lobbyist", etc.........and "we'll have more after this" as they went to commercial. OMG, my heart sank. I thought "this cannot be happening, PLEASE don't let this be a story about Obama". Like I said, I don't want to jinx things, and part of me keeps waiting for the other shoe to fall. This almost seems too good to be true, so we're bound to be disappointed somewhere along the line.......is this it?

I held my breath as the show returned, and the story was actually about John McCain. Truthfully, I wouldn't wish this kind of scandal on anyone (ok, maybe W, but no one else, LOL), but was SO relieved to know it wasn't Obama. I've pinned my hopes on him, and am praying we won't be let down.