a turning point, maybe

The last week has been one of the most stressful I've had in a long time. Maybe among the most stressful ever. We've pretty much run the whole spectrum of emotions.....fear, anger, resentment, worry, relief, even faint hope. I'm just working to take this one day at a time, and to focus on the small victories as they come. :)

How did this week from hell start? With me being told that E will no longer be allowed to attend the preschool he's been in since he was 5 months old. Even though I just typed that sentence, I still find it somewhat hard to believe this really happened. And now, almost a week removed from the initial shock, I have been able to put a thin layer of gauze over the wound. It'll heal, but it'll take a while, and right under the surface is some pretty hefty anger and bitterness.

Sometimes, I just want to rip that gauze off and wallow in the anger a little.....do you mind? I just want to ask "who do these jerks think they are?" Discussing my little man among themselves, and then ganging up to call the school en masse to complain. Claiming all kinds of BS, like their kids are scared of E.

PLEASE, give me a damn break!

Most of these people live in an entirely different world than we do, and our little circles only intersect in this one place, that preschool. I can say pretty comfortably that the parenting lives of these people have NO similarity to mine, and that they have no experience with or sympathetic view of anything resembling special needs. All they know is that little princess doesn't want to be in class with that boy anymore, or they don't want her exposed to that kind of child (who obviously must have horrible parents that either 1) do not discipline him or 2) need to pursue psychiatric care for him).

Excuse the hell out of me, people. Didn't realize that your child's education was so incredibly hampered by being in class with my son. I thought maybe the problem was the teachers who have no control of the class, or the overcrowded room with too many kids, or the numerous other kids who don't listen/can't stay still/can't keep hands to themselves. And by the way, in case you forgot.........they're freakin' 4 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!! This is not life and death, people, nor does it ruin their chances for going to Harvard or being Miss S. C. if they have to suffer through K4 with a child who might have different needs and challenges.

But you know what? You know who has the last laugh? We do, thank you very much. Because now, E is a successful, participating member of another K4 class, a smaller class with a better teacher, better curriculum, more space, and better facilities. And he's happy. And behaving well. And learning. And excited about school.

So you take your precious little children to your school every day, ok? And just keep on deluding yourself, thinking that you "won" and relishing the feeling of power in knowing that you ran off a 4 year old. You made the director cave, and flexed your muscles (i.e. money) to get what you wanted. Never mind the years worth of work and service I've dedicated to that place. Never mind the loyalty, never mind the connections we have. Screw that. Bottom line, YOU couldn't meet my son's needs. That's clear, now that we have found a place that can. So we're better off, and I'm closing the door on that part of my life, and his.

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(that felt good, thanks for listening) :)